


good things come in threes (or so they say)

by jayeinacross



Category: Castle
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-10
Updated: 2012-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-09 13:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/456142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayeinacross/pseuds/jayeinacross
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Javier knows he only has himself to blame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	good things come in threes (or so they say)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my angst bingo prompt 'marriage'.

Javier knows he only has himself to blame.

It was him that broke things off.

It was him that insisted that they should stop.

It was him that walked away from the man who loved him.

And it wasn’t like Kevin just took that sudden rejection without a word; he fought to keep them together, not understanding why Javier had suddenly decided to stop--

Whatever they had.

It wasn’t a relationship, exactly -- they never said they were dating or told anyone at the precinct about it, they didn’t go on dates. They still just hung out and played Madden and joked around; all the same old stuff with some new things thrown in.

Like the kissing and the touching and Kevin’s phone waking them up two minutes before Javier’s goes off the mornings after Javier says over. Arguing over who gets to use the shower first, Kevin trying valiantly, but still failing, to resist when Javier persuades him that taking one together will save water, even though Kevin knows they’ll take twice as long.

How Javier’s cooking skills don’t really extend past pancakes, and Kevin’s don’t even reach that far, so pancakes it is every weekend, and going home together after poker nights on Friday, and--

Kevin didn’t want to let go of all that, but Javier refused to talk about it, and Kevin couldn’t fight forever.

So it all went back to the way it was, just friends who played pranks on Castle and made bets on anything they could think of and had each other’s backs in the field, but sometimes there were little things.

Kevin’s hand almost reaching that little bit further to cover Javier’s before he managed to stop himself.

That smile, sharing a private joke from across the room.

Making coffee the way Javier only liked it on lazy weekends at home on the couch.

But suddenly, those little things stopped, and two weeks later, Kevin turns up at the precinct with the most god-awful tie Javier’s ever seen, and suddenly he’s missing things that he never even noticed until they were gone.

Kevin’s unfocused eyes before he got his coffee in the morning; how that sleepy expression always looked a hell of a lot better in bed on a late Sunday morning than at a crime scene at 6AM.

How Kevin would sometimes bite his lip when they were talking, and how long it took for Javier to realize exactly what that meant.

The light brush of Kevin’s fingertips over the back of Javier’s neck whenever he gets up to get a drink from the kitchen.

Javier doesn’t get those things anymore, and it’s his own fault.

The day that Kevin brings Jenny in to meet all of them, Javier admits that she’s great. She’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s kind, and she would certainly be worth stealing away. And he admits to himself that he hates her.

He wishes that Kevin would admit that the real reason he hadn’t brought her around is because he hadn’t wanted Javier in particular to meet her yet, but Javier knows he doesn’t have that right.

He knows that the jealousy is irrational and he doesn’t have any right at all to feel the way he does when Kevin glances at his phone and his eyes crinkle at the corners as he grins at whatever the mystery girl has said now--

But he can’t help it.

And the longer it goes on, the more Javier misses it all.

One time he almost loses it; standing in front of the coffee machine and Kevin reaches across to grab the sugar, pressing against Javier’s side as he does, and when he withdraws, he’s so close, and they both freeze.

Javier almost kisses him right there, with Castle just coming inside, where everyone else in the precinct could see him, but smooth as anything, Kevin just steadies himself and smiles and turns to say hi to Castle like he has no idea what Javier was thinking just now.

He has to know. Javier’s given him that look a hundred times, and he knows exactly what it means.

But Kevin acts like nothing happened at all, and then it only gets worse from there.

The constant calls and texts keep on coming, and Javier can see that Kevin’s in love. He knows the signs. He knows Kevin.

He knows that smile and that look in his eyes.

The way he gets distracted so easily by the chiming of his phone.

How he talks about her like she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

He knows what Kevin’s like when he’s falling in love, because he’s already seen it happen once.

The months pass, and it’s all the same. They solve their cases and they’re always there for one another; in the field, as friends, but nothing more. And then Kevin shows him the ring.

It’s delicate and beautiful, just like the girl it’s meant for, and she will love it. Javier tells Kevin so with a smile, a clap on the back, and a playful wink.

When Kevin asks him to be the best man, all he wants is to punch Kevin in the face, but instead he tells him that there’s not way in hell he’s letting Castle do it.

Kevin beams back at him, and they go on the same way that they have been for months.

It’s an amazing moment when Kevin finally proposes. Except that he does it there in the precinct, right in front of Javier, and even Castle’s stupid helicopter idea was better than this, because at least Javier wouldn’t have to see it happen.

Wouldn’t have had to see how nervous he was.

How earnest he was.

How happy he was.

And they still go on like always.

Then, Lanie. 

Lanie’s probably the greatest girl he’s ever known, but he’s not looking for his perfect girl. They have a great time, and maybe before Kevin, he might have fallen in love with her. Being with her eases the pain a little, but he can’t see it lasting.

Right now, he can’t see a whole lot past Kevin.

In the months leading up to the wedding, Kevin’s stressed because Jenny’s stressed, and Kevin starts staying late at work rather than getting out of there as soon as he can.

Not exactly a good sign for a man who’s getting married in a month.

Kevin’s finally made it to one of Castle’s weekly poker games; Jenny’s out of town until Monday, making some wedding plans with her family, and he finally seems to loosen up after a few rounds and a few beers.

After Castle’s cleaned them all out as usual, Kevin asks if Javier wants to come over and crash at his; he doesn’t want to go home to an empty house, and they haven’t had a chance to hang out for a while.

Javier knows it’s a bad idea to say yes, but he does anyway.

Kevin crowds him against the wall as soon as the apartment door has shut behind them, and Javier knows it’s a bad idea, but he can’t say no.

When Kevin’s sprawled on top of him on that stupid red couch that he still has, half undressed, and hesitates for just a second, Javier knows it’s a bad idea to pull him down into a kiss instead of pushing him away, but he can’t help himself.

Sleeping with your best man a month before you get married is probably a worse sign than feeling the stress of organizing the wedding.

Javier wants to kiss Kevin’s neck when they’re done, work his way up to his partner’s mouth and stay curled up with him, but he forces himself to stand and start putting on his clothes again, moving mechanically.

Kevin sits up, and says, “Javi,” and the way he says Javier’s name like that, the way he used to say it, only when there was nobody else around, his whole heart in that one word, almost breaks Javier, but he’s cut off before he can go any further.

“I’ll get a cab,” Javier says, and Kevin falls silent. Grabbing his jacket off the ground, he finishes with, “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Okay,” Kevin finally manages to mutter, but Javier’s not there to hear it.

Javier’s never tried to hear it.

Never tried to fight for what they had; what they might have had.

And Kevin’s too tired to fight anymore.


End file.
